Deserving of all these ?

Borrow and never return.
I thought we would be good friends for long, i never knew it would end this way
What's really happening wiht me?
I am really feeling bad, real bad!
am i that bad a friend.

Insecurity is working within me, when you all go out without asking me
I sense that something is gg behind my back,
but i never dare to question you people
I thought staying ignorant for that moment may solve the prob

confuse of whether what to do next.
I always had the perfect view of us,
but maybe you all would be more perfect without me
thanks for everything (all those good ones)
bye. (but dont worry i will return all your money first)

I aint rich. You know how many days I just bear through the hunger so that I could use that money so i cna buy clothes. My mother is having some prob with her eyes, and she need the money, so she isnt giving me that much anymore. I am not rich, I am not! I am not!!!!! I am having money to get clothes it is just bcos i got my pay.

God why why is all those bad things happening to me on now? I am trying to stay strong, but all those things are crumbling down at me, i really know nothing to get all this gg.