Stretch my capabilities;

expand by capacity, hunger for more.

My studying philisophy

Thou shall not feel that you're alone, cos there are lots more ard you (going through the same thing). For one who looks forward sees the light, and those who doubt falls behind. Since chances are still appearing, it meant it had yet given up on you, you should not give up those chances. Give your best shot. Make use of what ever time you have, even if it is just an hour.

My grad exam 2 results is not meeting my expectations. But I do see some effort paying off. But it aint enough, and i know it. A 'B' for all subjects isnt gg to bring me to any where. Got to work hard, buck up. Constantly reminding myself, that time is short, and i have to make use with whatever time I have. Push up 2 grades is my aim for all subjects, it will be a tough route ahead.

I didnt know I improve that much for Physics. Wooo, 23 marks improvement. If had given myself more drill, it could have been btr. Half-satisfied with my English. Looking back I was a D-grade, now i am a B4 , its improvement, but just not too satisfied. A B3 I hope for Os.

Promised myself to stay back after school everyday, and I did. :D I resist all temptation; going home to take a nap, go home to play my laptop and watching tv. Hah most people think I am stupid to study in the canteen, cos they thk it aint condusive. It is lah, after a hour or two, the canteen is rather empty,and noiseless. Whats bad, was i got tempted by the food. Hah kept eating, but it isnt distracting me from studying.

In another 2 weeks, temptation. ppl will be ending their EOYS, starting to play. I hope i dont get tempted. And canteen would not a good place to study in alrdy :/

Pull through this. Hang on there.

Having someone at the back, pushing me on;

I am a red hot lobster today, stinging pain on my face and my body. Bcos of the redness, I have became the joke today. During recess, had laksa, they say whether the laksa was too spicy that result in my red face. In class they go "Are you too happy? " Crappy freinds.

Got back my results. Extremely disapointed with the results. You know when you scored well for a part of the paper and the other pulled you down? The feeling sucks big time. And I didnt have a single A, evrytime i thought there was a chance, disapointment was all i've got. Straight Bs. B for Bimbos. :X

Chem P1- 34/40, i was the first time I got such marks for paper 1, however P2 ended the excitement in me real fast, 44/80. I find the paper hard. Combine humanities, social studies-39/50, okay not really high, Eileen got 42/50, but it was still a good score, again Geog was the wet blanket- 26/50. Whats worst have yet to come. History, P1 (Southeast asia) - 19/50, yah it was the paper i got stumped by the essay question, and i left a 13 mark and 6 mark question blank, so i was quite expected such results, but when I got back my P2 (World), it was like a stab on my heart, i scored 40/50, it was like the highest or maybe one of the highest in class? But in the end I was pulled down by my paper1.

The As seemed so near, yet I had lost it all. :/

But maybe of such disapointing results I have, I got a motivation to do better. To get back all the As I have lost in my prelims. Prelims may not be fabulous, but it is still Os that will determine everything right? Shall work doubly, triply hard.

Do you know something, after 2 prelims, I have yet gotten and A. :(

Okay O'levels is all I see now, nothing else, definitely not my disapointing results. Get my priorities right, and look at the brighter side. :D I have set my aim for Os long time ago, I have yet met it, and Os would be the time! Peak at the right time.

{/edited}
Now when the rules have changed;

Feel like dancing, woooo. Grad exam 2 finally over! The exam schedule just crap, drag for 3 weeks, and we got tense then relaxed when thr was a break and tense when thr was paper again. I am not gg to stop studying, i shall keep this pace of revising. Keep going on :D

Dont thk I will get fabulous results. But I do trust the phrase "PEAK AT THE RIGHT TIME!"

Shall go play some ball later, hah alone. Maybe just shoot, lazy to ask ppl. :P Saturday got tuition and later go out, but I dont have any shirt :/ i mean all mine are t-shirts. Maybe go find some tml :) Hah suddenly I feel that I am so free.

Maybe go swimming on Sunday, and go for some tanning also. Haha. Watching WNBA, like their shooting, it spins. Though it isnt as exciting as NBA, but tsome of their plays are still nice.

You can feel the pain of studying, maybe the pain of training also. But you can never feel the pain of determination. :D Hah just went balling. Actl want to go to ball at near marcus place, went thr and found out that the court is being used fo some functions. Ass. Went back to JSCC to play instead. Keep on shooting, finding a way to make my ball spin. Kinda suceed after a few try, have to get use to it. Yes man! Shoot till my hand cant be lifted up then decided to go home. Hah actl want to continue, but too tired. :P

Hah from today my perception on bangalahs, real one, have changed. When i got home then i found out that i forgot to bring my key. Irritated. Tried to open the door inside, and i happen to found my key on the sofa. Thought of ways to get it out, but to no avail lah. One bglh just wa;l pass me and look at me, i kind of stared at him, actl he wanted to ask if the things outside my house is needed cos washing have to be done. He looked at me for quite awhile, an so did i stared at him for that little while. Hah his eyes seem to tell me he can help. Tell him that my key was left inside, haha we cant communicate actl so we just do sign language. Hah he told me to wait, and yesssss, he came back with a bamboo stick and he got my key out. Yeah, really thankful. HAh when you're happy, everythinnnnng seems to go your way :D :D :D

Yoohoo, gonna have sushi for dinner later. Hah kinda addicted to mingzhongzhuding, the 11pm show on channel U, though i watch it the third time alrdy. S'pore not nice one, they censored off the dialects

Crumble into peices;
everything seems so uncertain

STATE OF DEPRESSION
:X

History just caught me off guard, stumped by the question. I thought i was quite well prepared but i was wrong. It just got me in tears when the whole paper ended. Cos it just let me realise how unprepared I am for O'levels, everything seem crumbling down at once. Everybody though I was strong, and was a mugger, and at times take me as a benchmark, it is stess you know. And i dont seem as well manage as I seem.

Thanks banglah, my best foreign friend. Hah. Thanks for being there when I shed my tears haha. You're the best. Though I am hostile to you, being racist to you at times, you're are always being there for me. Okay I dont send you back to bangladesh alrdy, reassuring you. haha

Okay on a lighter note, though I have not studied for Physics, a single shit, I am able to do the paper, but still having some questions left blank. :P But it is already very good for me. I thk tuition is paying off, I am absorbing things off from there, so being able to the paper meant that I could apply! Haha thats a good think. I just hope that it is not because I did everything wrong so I found it okay. :/

I seriuosly need a breather, I am not a person who can sit down and mug for hours and hours. I seriously think I need some life. I am having some pact with teachers, and my msg gonna burst because I am msging them too much. I am asking teachers to force me to stay back in school to mug, and pay me some attention, give me some extra drilling so I will be able to do well for Os.

Feeling terrible this few days, I aint able to cope with the studying stress. Really! Sometimes when I go for a bathe during breaks of my studying, I find that I take longer than usual to come out of the bathroom, reluctant to get myself out of the water. I wonder if i would able to survive to O'levels. I need MORE MOTIVATION, MORE, MORE. Tml I shall play some basketball to de-stress. Hohoho.

Okay blogging is fun, it let me release my feelings. :D :D :D

Will I do well for Os ? - My biggest worry

I didnt know getting over you is so hard; not in a right state of mind

It feels terrible when everything is reminding me of you. Though it was short, it was the best memories of my life. Recollection of memories. You're happier now, and i shall refrian my silly thoughts.

As time goes, you tend to keep more things to yourself, isnt it? In the past, we will just shout everything out, hah it sounds childish, but that was how we is in the past. You refrain yourself more from sharing things kept deep inside you, you are afriad when you share, everything get leaked out, the fear is there, you aint trusting anyone anymore, even you best of friends. Misery starts to build up within you. And someday you will find you cant take it anymore. And you never know what you will actually resort to in the end.

Emptiness is all I felt. I dk why, and i dont think I need to know why. I just to find my way out of this, immediately.

Grad exam 2 isnt going so smoothly, but I am just going to do my utmost for the rest of the papers. Wish me luck :P Hah. Best of lucks to people! Yeah tml no need go school, but still have to study at home :X

Hope to get back my healthy body, my intestine is giving me alot of problem. It sucks.

I just happened to hear this song, i guess it speaks for itself. :X

Plain White T's -Lonely September

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight

One more chance tonight
I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back '
cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

I really miss you alot, and no words could describe it

A tumour in the heart;
cant be seen, but it is producing the pain

Humanities are killers. Social studies, geography and history. Alot of memerising need to be done. Psst, I seem like some mad talking to myself. Hah i guess everyone is doing the same? Social studies is crap, medisave, medisave, do we really have to know whats that? Give us money we will settle our own medical cost lar. Lol

Will revise some chemistry later on before tuition tml. Asked tuition teacher for the hardest paper. :P Maybe a Amaths paper also. :D Monday would be social studies and chemistry. Hope I wil just do fine. Tuesday would be Geography and Mathematics. Got to work harder in order to get a distinction.

Did you know on thursday my blog have 100visits? Haha just happen to know it. And my blog have an average of 74 visitors. But I kind of know why ppl visit my blog -.- is alll bcos of the links. Hah nvm, I will add more links if I could find any. Hah I AM GOOD :D

Ytdy went studying with siying. I wonder which retard can get mixed up with jurong green and jurong spring mac? Haha. Lol. So i bused to Jurong green then ltr found out it was actl Jurong spring. Haha. Did physics and Geography, quite fruitful. Hah study again tghr next time. Having the sudden urge to play ball again! Okay shall not fall into the clutches of temptation. RESIST!RESIST!

If I could ever rewind back the time, I would want to be with you again. I would not be so foolish to let go of you and hurt you once more. But i guess nothing could be reverted back.
Let it go.

Caught the balls ?

I like my blogsong it is by Chris Tomlin, Holy is the Lord. It is a christian song.

Ytdy was stressful, all the studying at night. When i needed some care i didnt get any. At a moment i really found too much coming down on me, and i just threw my books on the ground and got back into my room, I let out all of my emotions. My parents just didnt bother much. It just sucks when you have no one to say everything out, everything is cope inside, and it is miserable

My stress reach the peak when i thought of what mdm priya said, if you get a D7 is either you give up totally on yourself or i give up totally of you. I cant fail this time.

Really wish all 4/3 all the best. Soar up high in the sky, it will be our day when the results is released! Sacrifice the play time you have, and start mugging like a mugger toad! Nobody is going to cry when the results is released.

English paper was okay. But dont think i can really score. Hah i am back to writing about basketball. It has been quite long since i wrote on basketball.Everything seems to be flowing when i write about something which is me. The title was PROMISE. I wrote a story about a promise i can never fufill anymore. I am saddist, i wrote about a sad story. I hope i could express myself btr then my story would be sad-der. Sigh. Just hope i dont fail.

Tml I am having 2 papers, and there is a 4 hours break. I wonder if i come back home to sleep. Tml there is also tuition, how cool can that be.

I seriously need a break with friends. Too much of things happening this week. Hah hopefuly mushroom pot with clique. Hoho, maybe got new clique member, cos there is a new person appearing for recess with clique. Haha whoever who join the table of the clique for recess becomes one too. Lol.

1 day down; 21 days more till end of Grad Exam 2
51 more days till O'levels

Bird nest on top. Bird land and ley eggs.

Peculiar love;

Finally oral is over. Did pretty okay. I hope so, keep my finger cross and wish for the best. Not questions in between during conversation. Hah bulls eyes, the topic was something that was revise before so it was relatively easy

Hah found a ncie song on 98.7 , it will be my blogsong for now. Enjoy it

Got back my chinese results. Kinda disapointing, though i was always saying that i am just aiming for a B3. But you know ppl do lie, so i dont get sad after getting the results. So I've decided to retake chinese. All the best to myself haha

Today started the day with assembly. Mr Tan shown us our statistics for MT, hah i guess it was the worst year maybe. Haha. Thats joke. Ltr it was Mdm Rani, she was entertaining! Her quote for the day was NEVER NEVER GIVE UP! Everybody had to repeat after her before everyone was dismiss. How lame. Haha we set out targets again for Grad exam 2. I set quite a high target for myself, i guess i just have to put in more effort to get it. And we all had to make a quote for ourself to motivate ourself. Shawn one was . Shawn rock on! Lol mine was. Shaking miss tham hand is my aim! Joke!

Haha today is a great day with msges.
Webcam with some idiot. :D
asshole

Here is the lyrics to the song. (:

Smile- Uncle Kracker.

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile