Life's in a mess ;
I do not seem as strong as I look

Everything just not gg right for me this week. Fuck. I dont know what is happening too. Soemthing is solved, some got worse. Someone save me please. I hate myself why did i get myself in this state.

Just got back from tuition, pissed. I was really being affected by the msg, so why cant you understand? So the teacher ask me not to come for her extra lesson anymore. And i didnt really score that bad. I did only 1/4 of the paper, and left the 3/4 blank, but i still got 33% out of the 45% I have done. So what is wrong? It is not that I didnt put in any effort, or playing punk. I explained myself and why you just cant accept it?!

So only 5 was chosen, 6 was left to go by themselves. I promise I am going to do better, I am gg to beat those 5. I am gg to outscore them, wait and see. Maybe i am saying bcos i am really pissed . :/ But yes that is a promise.

Somehow I thk it gives me more determination to do better. And yes I do think I need some time for self revision. I thk I am giving myself too much to handle. I am totally on a 7 day studying week. On saturday and sunday I still go for tuition for 5 hours, and thats even longer then a friday in school.

My family just not giving the care I need at times. I do not have the ability to handle stress, once it got over my limit. At time I have thought of giving up on my life. This few days I was looking forward to going for school, at least i got my friends to laugh with. I feel better in school.

When i thought I have found that someone , everything just went real wrong. Conversation in msges, msn seemed so cold. I dont know if I am thinking too much. But i really dont know whats wrong. Everything came so fast, and left in a blink of an eye, but it left a long lasting pain. :/ I really envy close couples.

Get the acute pain on my stomach again. No joke! Got banged down again when playing basketball. I was actl want to act only, but it became a real hit on my stomach. It is again the left side. Hope it didnt fall out of place again, and if it does, i hope it crawl it back itself. It is swelling in again. My father just dont believe it is pain.

Days getting stresser as exams are coming nearer. Confidence have been lost after getting those disapointing results. Whaaaaaattt can i do?! Save me.