Would you sing me a lullaby?

Here is a nice blogsong. Homesick by mercyme. Hope it help you if you're having you're exams now. I know the feeling sucks.

Went to school today, i actl skipped school ytdy, hah play punk. No lar, just wanted some time to study at home. But today, went to school ust bcos of Geog. Lol. Hah got back my Geog test on rivers and coast. Guess what i scored 19/25, good enough, knowing that i didnt study much. And on that day of test i actl finish 30minutes before times if up, and manage to draw out the whole river process plus colouring. I thk Mr Boay must be really impressed. Cos i had the nicest drawing, woohoo. Quite a number failed, so I am satisfied.

Maths did some paper for 2 solid hours. Okay that was a good practice, got to make some perfecting touches to Emaths, still making some careless mistakes that i shouldnt have make :/

Taking 3 humanites isnt a joke lah; Geog, Social studies, Core History- it really kills. Esp with core history in the combination. It is named CORE history for a reason btw. So ppl who thinks history is fun, have a second thought. I have no doubt history is interesting, but at Os it is just mamamia

During lesson, everybody look so restless and lethargic. :/ Hate to see a class that is once so noisy and lively and turn to become like this just bcos of a sick Os. Psst. How i wish i could fast forward to 14th of november.

Could some ppl just update their blog, try clicking to the links i have on my blog. Nobody is updating. Does blogging takes up that much of your time? I need some entertainment, overstressed.

Stalin, Hitler, Fascist Japan, War in Asia Pacific, Diplomacy and Deterence, THIS REALLY SUCKS, Venice, Globalisation, Britain and Singapore Healthcare, Forests, Rivers and coasts, Food, Development, BIG TIME, Rise of Nationalism, Colonialism, Singapore politics.

Would you give me some strength you pull through. desperate for your touch.

Do you feel this ?

I just do not have good stress management. One stress ball aint enough. :P Whenever i start my revision, i feel everything crashing on me. It is not like I do not have enough time for revision, but I still alot stress. I need someone to talk to.

Should i continue with JC after this, knowing that I cant cope with exam stress?

Done a Amaths paper. Physics TYS still left a quarter. Done Geography memorise the forest part. Yeah thats all I have done. It isnt enough, and i know that. Keep on going G.

It is a torture, I need a listening ear.





I SUCK AT STUDYING. what to do? ):

Having the same thoughts;

Thank you Uncle Daniel, for blessing me a bible. I should actl bought myself :/ But still I appreciate it alot, and it seems like a expensive bible. Crap, i dont feel good abt that. And yes thank you Ian for all the songs! Haha it will definitely help me during my revision, to Os. Happy day.

After resonate went to Sun plaza for dinner at Cavana, and went home after that. Tiring day, got to do some studying now. Bye earthlings.

thank(s)full.

Your whispers, are my commands;

Tired, after a whole day of studying. Stayed back in school for more revision with some idiots, who seem to distract me mroe than to study with me. Hah but still nice time studying in tghr. Finish 1 paper two and 2 paper one for chemistry. Haha acheivement:D

Decided to stay back everyday after school to study. Shall forbid myself from gg home, and get tempted to take a nap, waste of precious time. Its time to feel the urgency! ! months time not very long. Study hard.

Got some trashing from teachers, can see their disapointed face. They show some helplessness, though they have gave it all in teaching us, we have yet to give our utmost. Guilt felt. Just want to say sorry to some teachers. Some efforts are just wasted on me. :/

Got to buck up. Push up 2 grades for all of my subjects. Yes thats my aim. If thats possible, which i dont thk so, I wil get all As . Hah its all Bs now, but hope thr will be improvement.

Though my results are disapointing, there are some exceptions .I am not boasting here, but jst giving myself a little motivation, a little motivation is good. Haha, my world history, was actl the TOP in level (combine history paper) , first time ever. But still as a subject whole, i still did not do up to expectation. And my Emaths, I have made a great leap forward, and made a big improvement of 21marks . My social studies from a F9 to a A1. How cool is that?

Take a leap of faith in yourself. Some have been taking disappointing results, just dont give up alright. It is okay to do badly now, just peak at the right time. Keep on moving.

Alright all the best to all who are studying. Thou shall not feel that you're alone, cos there are lots more ard you( going through the same thing). For one who looks forward sees the light, and those who doubt falls behind. Since chances are still appearing, it meant it had yet given up on you, you should not give up those chances. Give your best shot. Hah thats my philosophy, for not giving up.

Crumble into peices;
everything seems so uncertain

STATE OF DEPRESSION
:X

History just caught me off guard, stumped by the question. I thought i was quite well prepared but i was wrong. It just got me in tears when the whole paper ended. Cos it just let me realise how unprepared I am for O'levels, everything seem crumbling down at once. Everybody though I was strong, and was a mugger, and at times take me as a benchmark, it is stess you know. And i dont seem as well manage as I seem.

Thanks banglah, my best foreign friend. Hah. Thanks for being there when I shed my tears haha. You're the best. Though I am hostile to you, being racist to you at times, you're are always being there for me. Okay I dont send you back to bangladesh alrdy, reassuring you. haha

Okay on a lighter note, though I have not studied for Physics, a single shit, I am able to do the paper, but still having some questions left blank. :P But it is already very good for me. I thk tuition is paying off, I am absorbing things off from there, so being able to the paper meant that I could apply! Haha thats a good think. I just hope that it is not because I did everything wrong so I found it okay. :/

I seriuosly need a breather, I am not a person who can sit down and mug for hours and hours. I seriously think I need some life. I am having some pact with teachers, and my msg gonna burst because I am msging them too much. I am asking teachers to force me to stay back in school to mug, and pay me some attention, give me some extra drilling so I will be able to do well for Os.

Feeling terrible this few days, I aint able to cope with the studying stress. Really! Sometimes when I go for a bathe during breaks of my studying, I find that I take longer than usual to come out of the bathroom, reluctant to get myself out of the water. I wonder if i would able to survive to O'levels. I need MORE MOTIVATION, MORE, MORE. Tml I shall play some basketball to de-stress. Hohoho.

Okay blogging is fun, it let me release my feelings. :D :D :D

Will I do well for Os ? - My biggest worry

You've made my heart melt .

"I've got small eyes". Hah!

Tml is stress day. Feeling a big stone crushing down. Tml will be the release of O'level MT results, and adding on to my misery is English O'level Oral. I am sucking big time for oral practice, haha i need the conversation question to speak to me. SPEAK TO ME! Today got oral practice with Mdm Priya, trap in a sea of girls, stress bodoh. Again the same thing happen, got stuck for the first 2 question, but the 3rd one i actl can speak, hah. Mdm Priya asked why, i replied "I need the question to speak to me". Guess what's her reply "Yah speak to you, I smack you! " Haha. Really hope tml the question will really speak to me, and I can speak well. Cross fingers.

I dont thk i will be retaking my chinese, if i didnt do well for oral. If I get an A it will be definitely be the best. If i get B, and my oral get a distinction maybe i will retake? I dk, cos ppl saying the paper at the end of the year will be easier. I dk lar, see first.

My mood was rather good today. Haha.Dont ask me why, cos i dont even know it myself.

I really hope Miss Lappen will put her anger on me, bcos i never do my homework and make me stay back everyday till 5, for revision for SEA history, until i can get 11/13 for SEA history essay, without the use of notes of course! That will be ideal man. Hah, i sound mad, but i dont thk i can study history at home myself.

My playing time is directly propotional to my study time. But for the others, most are inversely propotional, increasing study time and less play time. I find studying more fruitful after you give yourself a treat or two. Hah my treat would be playing basketball for an hour or two. Actl i hate sweating in my uniform, but for these few days i am actl playing with uniform. :P

Okay goodluck to me. Dont be so bad to curse me.
saying "anything" is good enough (:

BATMAN.

People stop saying that I am studying, I am a chiongster, I am not! I am getting uneccessary stress when ppl take me as a benchmark because ppl thought i have studied.

Hah, i like blogging nowadays, it allows me to relieve myself. So ppl, soemtimes you just have to bear with those - posts, and I will entertain you with my posts (: But i seldoms blog those kind of things, it is only recently. :/ If you have notice, I am still blogging though everyone is mugging hard. I am still studying btw, but i blog during my breaks. :P I will continue blogging if ppl wants to read :)

Add-maths mock examination, dont think I will meet my expectations. Disapointed. Got to work even harder. I shall forget about Add- maths and put all my concentration on E-maths mock examination. After E-maths would be Chemistry. Yes, i thk i have conquer Chemistry, sought of. I like doing Chemistry, it gets easier after lots of practice. The time I use to finish a paper also shorten, and my answer are more precise. SOS~

Getting really afriad for History. My bird brain dont seem to be able to absorb the big chunk of information. And I cant sit down and memerise the content.

Finally, a break during my weekends. No tuition on Saturday and Sunday but I will be studying at home instead.

I guess the release of O'level chinese result is postpone to somewhere this week instead of today. Get everyone for tense , bodoh! Really dont wish to do it for the second time (cross fingers tightly)

4/3, start studying and stop procastinating, lets work hard togther. Control our playing time, and put all our concentration on our pratice papers instead. It isnt long to O's, 76 days, so bear with it. Hope our class could all graduate with our desired scores. More ppl go stage! Haha. When you think of slacking, think of the day of release of result. Haha i guess it will make you tense, and hope it forces you to study. :P Remember this ppl "We'll reap what we sow! " -if you want big fruits, put in more effort now. (:

Count down to O'level first paper; 76 days

TAKING A BREATHER

Yes another week more to go . 'A' for all subjects- atrocious i mean. I gave up on History, Combine Humans, Physics, i thk i have a reserve my place for meet-the-parents session. I seriously hate Prelim 1. But i thk thr is still hope for a pass for combine humans, a 'B' grade for both maths, and chemistry. Totally flunk physics, but no worry cos if i have read i thk i will do okay actl.

O'level MT oral just over today. I thk i am too drama on the passage reading, i can stand myself. Haha but i thk is just for this once. But i thk my day is the luckiest, most guess the topic correctly. Its on YOG. Thats just a good start. When i got out of the hall, i was jumping away already, you nvr know how tense i am in the hall. I memerise all those phrases i dont get to use a single one. -.-

On saturday, went grandma house. Yeah Ahma strike lottery again, cant believe it? My whole family is striking lottery.Got money to take again. Steam boat buffet for dinner. Got back home, went to deliever someones present in the middle of the night. Haha hounoured huh?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZARD.

Today went out with lucas and kangrui after my tuition. Ass hole lucas, getting cheekier nowadays. Bluff me say cancel. -.- Idiot. Went to eat long john after that, and went home.

Tml morning for timsum with clem weijian filbert siying andrea(: Looking forward to eat a big breakfast.

DEFINITION OF WINNING
losing and stand up at where you fall.

Ytdy was great, short day. It was the last 2hours of lesson, having Mdm Yang preaching all the way. Took my phone download some games, and played. Haha time passes very fast like that. Brain dead after so many days of long lessons. Just so tired. And monday is O'level chinese paper. TGIF, played basketball in school. Played so many games in a row, legs getting wobbly. Lost most of the games. But still, great feeling , at least i got to play ball. Losing isnt the worst thing that can happen to a player, but the mindset of losing a game and giving up the rest. Lose to jiawei for 2 consecutive sets, pretty tiring. Play again next time .

Had tuition early in the morning. Had my usual breakfast , 2 eggs and 2pieces of toasted bread, and 1 tea with milk. It becomes my habit before tuition. I just cant get myself to pay attention if i keep my stomach empty.

I alrdy got my mind set, where to go after O's . I got to study now, my break's over. All the best to all who are having paper on Monday. Ace it.

I dont wish to take it for the second time. :/

A LITTLE BIT LONGER

Finally got my study plan done. Sense of accomplishment. Now is whether i will follow it. I finish my Chemistry TYS once, I am now doing it again. My aim is to score 75% right since i have done it once. And doing one last time after that, and i thk i will be alright for chemistry.

Though i hate tuition in the past, i like it now. It helps release the stress in me. Cos i am one that keep procasting, it forces me to study, and keeps me on track with what teacher is teaching. I am fortunate not to have a boring tuition teacher. She is quite entertaining. Haha.

It has become my habit of gg to suntan every week. And i thk the skin colour straight after tanning is the nicest, reddish brown. Ytdy i went to buy another suntanning lotion, cos i thk my previous tanning oil isnt that effective. I thk it is working on me alrdy. Feeling stinging pain on my forehead and stomach. Whr can i get the aloe vera gel?

Can someone tell me when the AMERICAN IDOL finale? Adam's singing just so great.

Yeah i thk my work is going to on a school shirt again. SLC 09, this would be my last work, for the school i guess. But it is super troublesome to have to show teacher the design, then if he dont like it you have to make ammendment to it, after everything is right, you have to contact the supplier, and go back discuss with teacher abt the cost, shirt material. Actl designing the shirt is not only about submitting a design. Sometimes ppl would just comment whether the shirt is nice, or ugly without knowing how much time and effort the person have put in.

Got a urge to go out to play basketball soon :/

HOW I USED TO BE

3 days of holidays how great? Got tons of homework and prelim is just this coming tuesday. Actl i dont even bother to touch the homework, i am just going to mug for chinese. Can you believe i am studying for chinese. I thk i will just concentrate on 公函 and 报章报道. Haha i am risking the chance of getting a difficult topic and fail this whole thing. And i dont advise ppl do the same.

I guess Mdm Priya didnt know what we have been going through only till recently. She was shock that we actl have lesson till 5 most of the days. Haha and she was advising us the opposite, emphasing on giving ourselves a break. And telling us the story of herselve not studying and gg for examination.Totally hilarious.

Hope that i will just pull through this Chinese O'lvl paper on which is coming real soon and have a 1 subject less to study for when october comes. That will be so much better lah. Crossing my fingers, for at least a B3 for chinese.

I AM GOING TO MAKE UP THE CLIMB

Miley Cyrus-The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb ,yeah!

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb

Keep your faith
Keep the faith
Whoa a oh oh

Haha just manage to catch this song on the radio, found the lyrics really meaningful and wanted to share with you guys,Lizard and all the sec4 students taking O's this year.

Lizard your basketball games is going come soon. You got to work hard alright? I will always be here. You got to be strong, and continue believing in yourself. Achieve what your team always wanted. Make the mountain move! (: Believe, have faith, fight with all your might, get you want.

O'levels are coming so soon. Time are just passing so fast. Lucks to every sec4 esp to weijian and filbert, the gay partners, and clique. Straight A's are on your hand guys. We are going to climb,climb,climb. Have faith in ourselves, we are going to make it through. hopefully with flying colours haha

HERE IT GO AGAIN

Looking back at my archives, the past photos with the basketballers, with my councillor batchmates , with cliques, those happy time we had together, time we can never get back , it just makes my heart ache. Especially, those with the basketballers, those photos are just so precious, and i am glad i ahve a blog, to have my memories retain. We may not be training together now, but those memories will always be carve in us alrdy? Each of us have our shortcomings, and have our own unique charactor, together we make a good team . [Jurong hohoho (:]

Today lessons, i am seriously trying my best to concentrate in class, and yeah i did it for most of my lesson. Only when thr is a sudden chge of weather, it seem so nice to sleep , and my eyes close for a whole 30minutes.

English, Mdm Priya just stressing with her hope and expectation of hers. But i damn love her class, everyday's lesson of hers i will super attentive. Her english class is always interesting maybe not for some but definitely a yes for me. Today she suddenly ask me, from one side of the class, "gavin are you done with your sec1camp" I thought she was just asking out of concern. So with a smile I replied "Yes, it is over" And what was her reply "Glad you did, you have to stop everything you have. Only if you produce results, you can do something else" This sentence really srikes me, it seem like i flunked real badly for my compo test. Then i was reading on my papers, and mdm priya walks over "Gavin, you have to concentrate more, i am expecting at leat a distinction from you or maybe at least a B3" And i was thr wondering "How could I " In the previous years, i am one who barely makes a border line pass for english so how is a distincition possible. Till now i am still worried if i will fail my english for Os

Haha joke of the day, the giro form for O'lvls. Cos the papers need either signature or thumbprints. Just happen to be Shihui 's one have to use thumbprint. Guess what she use? Dark Soya Sauce . Haha, funny? Shihui dont angry hoh . :P

Physics, oh yeah i am awake for the first time. Was asking questions all the way, trying to get myself back onto the track for physics. I have flopped my physics spa, and i am not gg to do the same for other of my subjects. I am gonna buck up, i am gg to give everything it need to achieve my aim.

Birthday coming, and i am so not looking forward to it. Everyboday gonna be busy with cultural nights and stuff. Boredom. I thought i could celebrate my last birthday in secondary school with the clique, but now it seem impossible. Naah maybe i shall celebrate myself, i go just with ttg .

My bags is breaking so i am gg to get myself a new bag soon. My slippers wearing out soon, so i will be getting a new pair of havaianas. Lets see if i can find the money first and i will decided (:

IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABETIC ORDER, I WILL PUT 'U' AND 'I' TGHR

Today should be the last time i lost my temper, its stupid to ruin my day bcos of it. But seeing you in the morning,it just brought back my smile. Haha yeah my mood swings super fast.

TGIF, started with chinese. Boring ey. Next was English, haha oral practice. Teacher just ramdomly ask ppl a question, and others continues. First question, should you read trashy magazine like teenage. Everybody gave a perfect answer no, bcos i have to continue what the other ppl say, i said no bcos it is a waste of money i would rather spend my money on assesment books. Lol but this perfect answer wasnt what the teacher wants to see. She really want to hears what is our view, so i said no again, i would rather use the money to get a MCDONALD meal for myself(:

Lol, last question of the day , the teacher wanted a interesting question so everybody can speak with fire. So she came out with, should unreasonable teachers be sacked? Haha when the question was first ask, everybody said a loud yes with unity. I guess everybody just thought of Mdm Yang alrdy. Haha i tried speaking my point, haha i was praised. Felt great.

Then A-maths, grrr i cant catch up. But i am going to buck on it with some revising on this weekend.

Chemistry, was test. Argh disapointing, i did wrongly for most of the paper, when i spot it and gg to change i didnt have enough time. I know how to do actl. -.- Nvm next time i going to do btr.

After school went balling, and after that studying. Tired inbetween and decided to go for a drink with clement, when walking back saw lizard. (: Said bye and continue balling in the court. Today it was fun, dk why. Haha Lucas 'step-back'. Me and Filbert won YongYe and Lucas[then ltr yongye went home chge to weijian] Haha all bcos of step back. Loser lucas.

Tml thr is training and my whole body is aching now. But i am looking forward to tml .

All the best :D Tml will be a great day. Moral support

JUST HOPING FOR A MOMENT WHEN I CAN TAKE OUT THAT MASK
feeling depressed.

Sprained my foot ytdy, but haha i can still walk run normally I dk why. Maybe a drink milk every morning thats why it is like this. And please i drink milk in the morning bcos i got gastric pain -.- Clement was such a good friend which cant be described. When i sprained my leg, he looked at me and laugh. When i was in pain, everybody though i was joking. Though i can still walk now, but i can tilt my leg to a certain angle.

Today had lesson, haha your msg kept me alive for lessons. When i was going to sleep, i was awaked by the vibration. Forgive me for replying you so slow, thr is teacher looking. A-maths was torturous, i catch no ball. But i guess it will get btr after much pratice.

Chemistry was MissOng, wasnt as i thought it will be. But when i see her i rmb of council -.- Her lessons was okay, lessons at almost the end of the lesson. At first she was talking all the way, talking about the syllabus

Yea the teacher have done a great job in scaring me of O'lvls. O'lvls are still months away, but everyday teacher is reminding us of O's. I am afriad i would be the one, tearing open the side and sit one side and emo. I am afriad to see many B4 and B3.

English getting really interesting. Mdm Priya wasnt that strict as the class thought she would be. Her lesson were awesome. But her comments on the class compo is ... "Ey if you want to pass you have to come for remedial" "Your compo is around a C5" "Come for remedial" [when she have just scan through the compo] "I doubt you will pass english" . All her comments were really that harsh. When she go around reading the passage everybody was so scared that after she read the their compo she will give a bad comment,but haha she didnt picked mine, she read around 3 quarter of the class one lah. But the idea she gave was really good. She is a interesting teacher.

Haha looking forward to the nxt english lesson(:

Training today. The feeling suck to the core. Training wasnt like training. I seriously hope i was in the team. But nahh not good enough. Why am i born this way. If i was taller, if i was faster... Hating this life, wishing to be bang by a car to end the misery.